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Last updateMon, 28 Jan 2013 9pm

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Don't let it get you down



Uh? Excuse me, what a huge huge word for what really means to go on and on and on, yawn yawn. Think about what persevere means and have another look and you may notice that it spells severe as well. OK so in a nutshell it means going on and on really annoyingly for other people. Lets look at some examples and by now you must surely know the catch phrase ‘ I do that!’. Yep afraid so, it’s the sludge brown colour on the artist’s palette. You got it - BORING.

Change the big title to boring and everyone knows what you mean.

I totally appreciate that 1940s crooners are wonderfully charismatic and enigmatic figures, adored by millions. Love the music, sometimes, toe tap to the tunes, but 24 hours, morning, noon and night, which is all my second son can talk about and listen to? Sorry it doesn’t float my boat, but he on the other hand can't focus on anyone or anything else. Bless him. I close my ears to most of it and end up saying yes and no in the wrong places.

How about going on and on about something that you know you have to do? I used to spend days sometimes dreading cleaning out the fish tank. I would constantly moan on about it to the kids, the cats or whoever has ears. Now moaning doesn’t get you anywhere!

Do you or your jellybean continually tell the same story that they find incredibly amusing, are you repeating the same story in the same way? I’m so badly guilty of this, the number of times my kids interject, ‘You’ve already told us this, pleeeze don’t tell it again ‘, the big doggy eyes and the pleading are usually enough to stop me.

Jokes, yes the ha ha funny ones - Uncle Jack only knows one joke and thinks he has only told one person. We’ve heard it a million times before and mouth it word for word, even the hand gestures are identical. Its almost as though they follow a script, er well actually we do! Am I the only one that will repeat a story thinking it's my own? That’s all well and good as long as you don’t find someone that's heard it all before, or maybe the person who told it to you in the first place - ooops.

Oopsa daisy again, how many oopsa daisies can we manage.

The good old DVD/video recorder in TIPs comes in so useful. Let people know your methods and ask them to help you and your jellybeans out by triggering you with PAUSE (take a breath ) and STOP (shut up ). They haven’t got to scream it to from the other side of the room, a nudge is as good as a wink or even both. Find a good system for you and go with what is comfortable.

And what about the children? ‘Mum can I have a biscuit?’ Not once, not twice but over and over again, it drones on in your ears like a scratched record until you either explode in true Tsunami style or you give in. If it’s not a biscuit then it’s a drink, a sweet or something equally as trivial and why does it happen when you’re on the phone? Experience has shown me that fobbing a jellyjunior off is just not an option. If you use phrases such as, ‘ wait a minute ‘ or ‘ I’ll think about it ‘, you’re asking for trouble, this is not a definite answer. Learn to say NO! It’s only a tiny word but it means a lot and after a while it will be accepted in your everyday language. Please try. I know it’s easier to give in sometimes for the sake of your sanity but in the longterm the nightmare just worsens. Teach them NO means NO.

Attention is what these jellybeans crave, any which way, we don’t mind. Set aside time for games which encourage your jellybean to learn to find the off switch. Pass the parcel is an old fashioned favourite and helps teach you when to STOP and START again. Little treats are all that are needed, not even objects, how about promises such as a family afternoon at the park, feeding the ducks, or maybe the latest film? Go on, they love nothing more than a special outing especially when it involves popcorn and ice cream.

The rules are simple - instead of music, have a speaker who has to STOP to allow others to remove the paper to find the treat. Teaching them to find their own OFF button is all you're doing and they'll always be reminded to by the others.

How about incessant apologies and thanks? What is the word sorry anyway? My youngest son has a real problem with this one. If you smile at him, he says, ‘ Thank you for that ‘. If he accidentally drops something, he apologises not once but repeatedly. But you know what? He doesn’t really mean it. These are just stimming words to him, and they’re almost involuntary. They just kind of pop out, all the time. It's perseveration.

One last final note on this endless (no pun intended) subject, perseveration can have its upsides too. I’m a bit like a terrier with a bone, never letting go. It’s like I go on missions and crusades and vow that I won’t stop until I achieve my aim. Without perseveration I doubt I would have managed to write all this down. There’s the proof - every cloud has a silver lining. I hope that you’ll agree, even though, yes I know, I’ve gone on a bit at times………