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Last updateMon, 28 Jan 2013 9pm

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Don't shout please.


THE LAST WORD ! That one is in capitals because there is nothing more infuriating for a jellybean than to be deprived of the last word. Heavens, it’s a crime in our house to lose that precious last word. We’ll do anything to secure it like a jewel in a crown. Often it’s the case that two jellybeans will continue to lock horns and even if the distance is increasing the faded voices of protestation will continue until a door slams, closing that particular chapter.

The last word has even been known to be screamed out of the car window barely audible over the continual revs of the engine. What with the haze of the exhaust, smell of the rubber burning on the road and the combination of Silverstone and the Jerry Springer show, you can understand why these arguments become so volatile.

Noise plays a big part in misunderstandings. Have you ever wondered why you tend to shout at someone who speaks a foreign language? I often laugh as I do it myself, why shout in slow motion, they are neither deaf nor stupid? Unfortunately jellybeans think that everyone else is stupid, instinctively they raise the volume of their speech and SHOUT. It’s my experience that we jellybeans don’t actually like noise unless it’s selected. Problem is that we’re brilliant at putting noise out and on the loudest volume at that! Shouting matches achieve nothing and high volume buttons become distorted. If I shout for long enough I start to squeak and my voice becomes weaker and weaker and it’s soooooo frustrating when that happens. How many times have I lost my shout mid holler, just at the crucial moment of the argument, much to the relief of my kids. How my family make downward flappy hand movements to calm me down as the argument continues to heat up! Here is how to cool it down with the gentle swooshing of a Ssssssshhhhh.

This is a GREAT exercise to do for everyone and will if used correctly change your life.

Take the SSSSSSHHHHH out of SHOUT

Long drawn out Ssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ones that take your breath away. Go on take a great big deep breath in and gently exhale with a Sssssssssssssssssssssssh. Repeat it, over and over again, really this is so important, don’t be tempted to fill in the gaps with words or instructions as this breaks the fairy spell.

Practise your breathing and Ssssssssshhhhhhhh techniques, see who can make theirs last the longest. ( failing to take a breath is not recommended, blue lipped jellybeans are not what we are trying to achieve!)

This exercise is so important that I believe we should try to encourage at least five minutes every day to practice our Sssshhhhing. It provides us with a system, rules and repetition and most importantly the practice in deep breathing.

Although this shh technique may sound all too simple, try it, and discover how effective it is. It's actually recommended by psychologists to defuse feelings of anger and frustration, and to ease pain.