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Butt out of Butting in



Why do I always get this burning urge to interrupt? It’s a real problem for again the tons of us who have ADHD, we race and our tongues just go into freefall and land plop right in the middle of someone else’s conversations. Was it a really important issue? Nah, don’t be ridicularse as my kids say! Was it earth shatteringly so petty that it need have been said at all? How about the conversation about your Dad’s hospital appointment, you know the one your mum is worrying herself to pieces about, she is pouring it all out and you interrupt with, Oh mum, before I forget, could you pick up the kids today, Billie's coming to do my hair!

That was a bit below the belt, eh? And you didn’t even notice. Do you hear the deathly silence on the other end of the phone or do you sense the worry? No, of course not, your brain’s too busy on permanent spin mode.

STOP, STOP, this is the only way to do it. Remember we spoke about motorways, well this conversation lark is like the M25 at 8.00am Monday morning. Watch out, be observant, there are one awful lot of cars around, huge articulated lorries and a very high wind, that’s just for starters. Use your wing mirrors (EARS) and listen to what you are being told. SWITCH ON the brain. Jellybeans do not always have their brains switched on to the correct mode. There are two directions just like a real motorway. Conversational motorways have two directions as well. TRANSMIT and RECEIVE.

These often get confused and jellybeans need reminding. Transmit means, yes please you are ready to speak. Receive means we are ready to listen. It’s really a great way to alert a jellybean that you have a voice as well and that it may interest them to listen to it. It’s also a great way to wind up the whole conversation, a real gentle way to say go away. My marshmallow friend, bless her, often says “ right, my sweetie, any more to transmit?”. What a lovely kind way to say I’ve had enough now, but thank you and goodnight. It's an unwritten rule that one. Actually as I type this in my nightshirt, I'm suddenly aware that I'm aware of an unwritten rule. Gosh I think that’s quite a leap, I’ll check in with my docking station and find out in the morning. No I’m not butting in and phoning her now, it’s nearly 1am. There, see, I’m learning, but it’s a good example nonetheless of how our language processes translate into physical actions. My uncle picked up the phone to a senior cardiac consultant at three in the morning because his throat was sore.I forgot to mention, Uncle was in Spain at the time, the cardiologist was in London. It is both unbelievably ridiculous and also butting in totally inappropriately! Oh and yes, it’s a true story, I promise.

Don’t forget the chirruping in at the end of someone else’s sentence! I often watch a well known tv husband and wife team, good staple diets in our daily intake of life’s current stories. You see her stopped dead in her tracks by the incessant butting in by her husband. Is it any wonder she looks nervous? Actually I wish she would do a bit of butting in, my guess is she is a marshmallow and they don’t do a lot of that!

Sitting next to a jellybean who’s guilty of this is sometimes like sitting on a time bomb, waiting for the next comment, tirade or stupid noise,like muffled giggles. Sorry forgot to say, we don’t just butt in with stories and words, heck no. We burp, giggle, twitch, fiddle or even jingle our keys, and oh, how about the urgent need to text someone, make a mobile call? We'll dance on tables, sneeze, faint or, even worse, walk away. It's because WE want to attention and just bring the conversation around to what we want to talk about.

Don’t be rude, please all you jellybeans out there, really there is no excuse for this, don’t give our tribe a bad name. Manners, yet again this short word keeps appearing. Apologise in advance, if you're in a rush then say so, don’t hop from one foot to another, or when you're driving slowly start to pull away from the kerb running over the talker's foot. Butting in to enter a conversation or simply change it, even ending it, is a serious crime with a severe punishment. People will learn to close their ears to butters in. They can’t be bothered to listen to a load of swoooooshy, swirly stuff, it makes them giddy and nauseous. Don’t ask the kids if they are ready to listen when clearly you’re not!