Many kids and adults on the spectrum don’t realise that every day they leave the comfort of their houses armed with dangerous weapons. Not weapons in the true sense of guns or knives but words. These too can be lethal and dangerous even life- threatening.
Go back to TIPs for a minute and imagine you are on the motorway, would you allow your child to drive an unsafe car with the risk of killing themselves? Of course not, yet thousands of us allow our kids to take risks because we’ve simply not taught them DYNAMIC DOMINOES.
Words are like bullets, they harm, injure and destroy people, families and onlookers. Words are powerful but with some jelibeans they just slip off the tongue soooooo easily!
There is a way of HALTING those bullets though. Guns/mouths and bullets/words are best kept safe by someone trained! Oh yeah right, so how is that possible?
THE POLICEMAN IN THE HEAD!
Yeah we all have one, we do honestly! It’s sometimes called a conscience, and it’s a way we have of telling ourselves to stop doing what we’re doing because it’s just not safe or right. I tell my children that there’s a policeman in their heads, and remind them constantly that we don’t need adults to tell us what’s right and wrong, we can keep ourselves in check all the time with our built-in policeman.
The trouble is some jelibeans choose to ply him with wine and get him so drunk that he spends all day nodding off! So wake and shake the policeman, alert your jelibean that there really is one if they choose to use it!
My children often allow the policeman a little coffee break or lunch out! Every time he goes off duty there’s some kind of incident. So the trick is short cut to whatever word you find easiest to remind them that their policeman has to be on duty at all times. Over and over again reinforce it. jelibeans are generally quick learners and will soon get into the habit.
An incident happened to us over Christmas. It involved my 18 year old son on Christmas Eve at 11.30pm.
Events started with a wayward comment (bullet) from my son to another lad pumped up with testosterone, the bullet landed and then immediately was followed up with the reaction of a bottle crashed down straight over my son’s head requiring 24 stitches as a matter of urgency, missing his eye by centimetres.
So how does this equate into dominoes, well this is how:
• Son fires bullet
• Lad responds with bottle,
• Son, bleeding, phones ambulance
• Paramedics phone my daughter
• Daughter phones me
• I panic
• I phone my mate
• My mate worries all Christmas Eve and can't go to her party
• My mother hears about it and panics and gets seriously confused
• Surgeon called out midnight Christmas morning - none too happy
• Daughter stays up all night waiting for plastic surgeons with her brother
• Christmas got delayed, you might say
Eventually my son arrives back home covered in blood, defiant it was not his fault and goes to bed, after having alerted two police cars, one ambulance, two doctors, one a specialist plastic surgery registrar, countless nurses and technicians and radiographers. But it was not his fault?
What my son didn’t realise was the chain of events (DOMINOES) in between. He also didn’t realise that my friend had sacrificed his Christmas Eve to set up a brand new PC for my youngest children. He came late so they wouldn't see the surprise, we had just half an hour to contact my internet provider to get a connection. The internet server was on the phone and when a call bleeped in. It was the paramedics. The internet connection was lost, the service provider closed and there was no fully-operational computer for Christmas Day after all! So Christmas Day was fraught with tension and anxiety, not to mention police time and statements, and my son's face looking like a Christmas pudding, and none of us talking to him.
But then it wasn’t my son’s fault was it? It was nothing to do with the initial bullet fired out of his mouth some hours earlier? It was just one bullet that cost the country how much in both time and money not to mention anxiety?
Combining dynamics and the dynamite of words can lead to a nasty DOMINO tumble - to be avoided at all costs.